I was thinkinggggg..

AM I EVER

GOING TO MISS

HIGHSCHOOL?

I know, i've been a bum. Not blogging and slacking like hell. But i'm going off tmr so i just wanted to get this over and done with. I'll be back, fret not. I can't exactly rmb the days but these were prolly on Christmas eve :)

 

 

 

 

&then XMAS :)

 

 Je yue baked me gingerbreadmen :)

 

 

 

This was Sunday :)

 

 

 

&then todayyy :)

@tgif

 

 

 

 

 

Where's me? :(

Haha, xx.

I'm sry

that i took every matter,

including the unnecessary,

into consideration.

that i tried fixing

the unfixable.

that i came on too hard

that after everything,

you're still back at square one.

I was useless

and incapable.

I shall stop trying,

as a whole.

x

Your stupidity is overwhelming :)

 

 

 

 

thnks

i feel awesome

&so goddamn important

x

Jaded.

I think too much about your imperfections. Sometimes i'd wonder if it is worth the hassle. If i didn't get the love and attention i deserve, why should i stay stagnant at a spot which made me feel so low? Maybe i'm too demanding and then again, maybe you just don't make me feel wanted enough. You're always clueless about the gravity of every situation and the weight of the thoughts that run through my mind. I'm trying to be fair and i'm trying even harder to dismiss the "what if's". What if i didn't go? What if you were alone?

There'd prolly be different aftermaths, different outcomes. I prolly wouldn't feel like shit. How can one be so insensitive? I hope i could be as ignorant and as oblivious. I hope i could be as inconsiderate, or even better, more inconsiderate in comparison. Every single time i feel like i'm the only one who's trying to lighten the tension. Why should i put aside my emotions for your satisfaction when we're merely all the same? It's not that i am of less importance or that you should be at the top on our list of priorities. So why don't i see you putting any effort?

I don't care if you're not used to expressing or if you're new to sharing because i think you'd have gone through enough to know me by heart. Your kind are not mind readers but it's not like i wanted to make you mind read. I'd really appreciate if you had mind reading skills but i had to put aside my wants and shove facts right in your face. I'm trying to be grateful but how is that going to work out when the downs outweigh the ups? I play by rules but do you? I try to listen but do you? I try to be tolerant and understanding but do you? So maybe i'm too demanding but after having my patience tested every damn day, think again.. am i?

Fuck you bigtime

  

Fucking liar!

Trouble i'm willing to go through

my ass la.

Merry fucking christmas la, 

 sohai.

xx.

Starhill is shit

Hi :) boyfriend's clubbing and you know how i get when i know he's not home. This is prolly the biggest reason why i lack sleep. I need to make sure he's home safe before i eventually fall asleep. Honestly, i'm not reallly into looking haggard but omg, i worry too much. So i guess today's going to be another late night all the way up til 3. Staying up, doing nothing, wasting bedtime. Sometimes i wish i could close my eyes and all the thoughts would disappear. Fat hopes :)

So anyways, the boyfie joined us at Jogoya during lunch for the really lousy food. I barely ate anything. Enjoyed almost nothing and hated practically everything. Thank god for the good companion or it would have been a complete waste of time. We headed to ac after for pool but he just had to piss me off. I usually always get away with my fouls but today, just because i was progressing more quickly he didn't let me get away with it. Motherfucking petpet, i tell you damn angry la. He could still manage a laughter sincerely from deep down. Ass much?

So it was his place after. Had dinner and then he sent me home. After so many months i was home at 8ish for the first time. Omfg, i was so restless and bored as hell. There was nothing to do. So i got on with the book that i borrowed from him before settling in for a really good nap. I wanted to like call it sleep and not wake up til next morning but there were so many calls and messages in the midst of it. I wasn't really pissed tho cause i was planning on waking up to get blogging over and done with today anyways.

I know, i'm being particularly long-winded today. Forgive me but i think i'm just trying to kill time better than i am right now. On an unrelated note, hope Kila and Aliaa gets to London safe as ever and i love you girls to the bone. I'm going to watch a movie right now. Sleep has got to wait. Hope Je Yue takes pity on me and gets his bum home, heregoesnothing :) It might happen y'kno? Like if it gets too boring..

 

 

 

 

 

xx.

:)

I'll let the pictures do the talking :)

BU4 prom :)

 

 

 

 

 Out of boredom :)

 

 

 

d'Aqua

@Racks :)

 

 

 

 

 

@Fullhouse:

 

@BubbaGump:

 

 

 

 

 

 

The boyfriend and i watched Avatar today btw

&i liked it.

Do you? :)

xx.